Along came Mary

Life has been a bit rough for my house hold lately.

Its been stretching dollars till they almost bounced on their own.

Its been dont let the coffee and equal run out till next week.

It's been hard but we have been surviving thank God.

I have been trying my best just to get by in this crazy time

Thinking of what I could possibly  do to earn some money.

Thinking how I am needed at home to help my grandchild.

Every possible scenario running through in my head to no avail.

Having to use the food bank is not embarrassing  when you need it.

Going on state medical insurance Also is a God send.

Rent is covered by my children  who are also my roommates. 

Taking care of me and themselves we are a team.

But that mighty dollar only can be stretched so far.

Having only $100 to get by till the Food bank comes in two weeks.

I was devastated and put my last ditch plan to work.

I placed an add on Craig's list Room for rent in a family home.

I knew what kind of person I would have loved to have here.

A woman it felt safer than a Male in a house with four women already.

I was afraid but I had found my current place on the list so I prayed.

Threw my faith to God and the Universe and prayed .

Just last night as I sat with my daughter talking about how broke we were,

I got a text.

Is the room still for rent it asked, the name said Mary a woman. 

I quickly called her back and started asking questions to get a feel for her.

She seemed nice and did not hesitate to answer  anything.

I was a bit nervous the first two people who answered didn't work out.

I liked her story as well as her openess and asked her to come and talk.

She said she works with seniors and gets tested on regular basis.

Keeping safe and social distancing  is a rule in our house so it was a huge plus.

We planned to meet a few hours later and talk face to face.

As I waited for her to arrive I sat and prayed once again Please God.

When she finally  got here we both felt comfortable talking.

I showed her the room and our only bathroom she seemed pleased.

I also explained to her that this is a family home and she also liked this.

After meeting my family and talking a bit she said she'd like to take the room.

I repeated this is a family home are you comfortable with this.

She looked at me and said this is what I need family's  are important.

Then she asked how long could she rent I answered as long as you want.

I think we both felt that this is one of those serendipitous  situations. 

I needed her and she needed us a safe place  to live within a family.

Yes I dont know her well but yes it is one of those blessings life answers. 

To prayers and hope and faith most of all that we would be alright.

So to my friends I say thank you for all your prayers.

To my family I say thank you for being just that.

To God and the universe  I say thank you for my faith.

To Mary I say welcome to a home and to our family.

Never never lose faith in God in family in life.

I.

Sacrifices

 In the past few months we all have had to make some sacrifices in our lives.

From staying home to not spending for that new shiny what ever we had our eyes on.

Cutting that cable finally and taking in or our those pants that still have some life in them.

To freezing that pasta sauce so it doesn't go bad for another dinner.

We have learned to cook or even bake with hits and misses.

Tried fixing up our homes and a myriad  of to do list things to tackle.

As for myself I've made more than I ever have in my entire life to keep my family healthy.

I have had to move when was promised that wouldn't be the case June was a hard month.

I've had to spend money I really didn't have to do this but was and am very grateful I was able to do it.

I was let go of my job of 20 years being told when things got better I would have to reapply.   Only to be called back to a job that could have put a family members life in danger if I went back.   According to our governors mandate " you did not have to return to a job if you have a compromised family member in your house hold.  As my friends and coworkers and my bosses knew my daughter is a diabetic in kidney failure.  Was warned I may lose my unemployment if I did this but I stood firm and felt I was in the right.

After many months my former job did indeed challenge  it and I was stripped of it.

Considering they had all the facts and I had proff they went ahead and did this.

Such a mean spirited feeling I would not go back at any point if I was begged. 

All in all it was the best and only choice I could make for my family.

Here I sit worried as every one else is wondering how we can make it through another month.

Here I sit grateful that my son and said daughter are working still it's very hard to get by.

I myself have medical issues that I am getting  on top of taking so much care to stay healthy as I can. 

I've become my granddaughters at home teacher no way she could do her work without me. 

In this house we wash our hands,wear masks and social distance no family gatherings is our rule.

We have gotten on each other's nerves bit have grown closer in the process.

We have all as you have made sacrifices to stay healthy. 

This morning at about 4 am I was at my 24 hour laundrymat  I go early because I dont sleep.  Another reason is to avoid too many people it can get crowded especially  the weekend. 

I was alone and as I put my clothes to dry a man came in to do his own laundry he wasn't wearing a mask.  I quickly pulled up mine and sat away from him it's a big place.

At one point he went out to his car looking at me as he left I was hoping he was going to get one.  At this point people were coming in and it was getting busy.

When the man came back he still didn't have a mask on walking around like he had not a care in the world.  No one else said anything but I could tell he was being  looked at one lady even shook her head as she steered away from him.

As I packed up my clothes directly  from the dryer I thought should I say something.

After all of the sacrifices we all at least the people who have common sense have made.

After all my family personally is going through trying to get by month to month.

After being slapped in the face by a workplace I once loved just to keep my family healthy, I  decided to say something.

As I headed to the door more than six feet away I yelled at him, Just who do you think you are.

I asked him what makes you so special that you would endanger all these people in here.

Wear a mask I shouted from the door as I walked out would have slammed it if I could have.

The reason I said  something wasn't just for me but for all of us struggling to just get by sane and healthy. 

I didn't lose all I have just to let some inconsiderate idiot ruin it.

I have vowed to carry spare mask in my purse for those few occasions  I do leave the house.  Next time I will not lose my temper I will simply give that unmasked person a mask.

Please say something if you are ever in this position do it for yourself as well as everyone out there who is trying to stay alive. 

I.

Let it all out

 My mind is filled with so much that just can't come out.

This world or beloved Earth is filled with so much pain and turmoil.

My brain is frozen,my senses cannot fathom what is front of our eyes.

My world my life all our lives changed af if a switch was flipped.

Changed in ways we did not forsee or ever expect in our lifetimes.

People forced to exile themselves to be safe to stay alive.

Our hopes,dreams our entire way of life changed perhaps forever.

Everything familiar seemingly gone normal is a word used in past tense.

We are all praying for this to go away we all play our parts carefully.

On our knees or in our poses however we choose to pray we ask why.

Life going by in a haze of uncertainty going on nonetheless.

 Handshakes and hugs are all put on hold at a time we need them most.

Longing to be near our loved ones that are far holding ones near closer.

We are finding this a great awakening for the human spirit.

Bonding with our families and learning what friends are to each other.

Learning that the words like be safe,are you alright or do you need anything mean so much.

Families spending more time in each others company than life had allotted.

Friends becoming a life line to our sanity with jokes all of us understand.

Screen time, texting or even Zoom meetings a way to touch other people.

Hugs put on hold six feet apart stay safe, covered faces hiding our smiles. 

Our spirit is not broken we all have hope despite this all.

I have put some of my dreams on hold then I asked myself why.

This should be the time we all look to our dreams remember them.

This is the time if nothing else can be done to let what calls to us out.

I don't know what I am trying to trying to say I don't have the answers.

I just want to send out my fears my hopes to all who read this.

I just had to get some of this out we are all in this together.

Stay safe, keep in touch with each other be Strong its in us all.

Namaste

Home

For most of us this will be about 8 weeks of being home.

All of us are going a bit stir crazy and and feel sluggish by now.

When am I going to get that list of things I have to do done.

Has turned into Binge watching and eating instead.

A time when 2 hour baths are possibly the key to sanity.

And NO pounding on the door will not get me out!

Home has become our safe haven.

Family and friends important once again.

Keeping in touch ironically a way of life now.

Laughing at the Toilet Paper jokes over and over.

Reading post that make tears come to our eyes.

Seeking old friends and family for comfort and hope.

All of us trying to cope and understanding when we just cant.

In some way this has turned into a much needed pause.

A pause that has given us time to reflect on our lives

Showing us that life can be great and harsh all in one sitting.

Time to ask ourselves whats  next as if anyone of us knows.

Time to change what we can and hold on to what we need.

Home is not just an abode a Place to live anymore.

Home is that person, place, or thing that keeps us going.

It has become that community of people we love.

It is that idea in our heads to help each other how we can.

It has become a way of life we cannot afford to forget again.

 

Love Poetry and Music

I think the only  things  that are saving me are love, poetry and music.

This is such a hard time for us all the entire planet  is in disbelief. 

Trying to grapple with this virus this dystopian story that's life today.

I'm not saying we are doomed but have been put on pause.

  

Love is keeping me going my love for my children family and friends.

Its reminding me to keep breathing they need me we need each other.

Its reminding me that this is what people should  have been  doing all along.

Be kind ,help each other,call ask if they are  doing alright, listen.

Poetry is keeping me sane writing it releases my stress.

Putting my fears out into the air they are expressed and gone.

Maybe no one will read my poems but I know how it helps me 

Find your own something that gets out your stress.

Music the great mood changer the get up and dance now kind.

In those moments I just can't ,in go my headphones and I'm sane.

What ever kind of music reaches you play it loud let it calm.

Sing if you must let the melody and lyrics make you feel safe.

There are so many feelings from despair to hope out there.

People are afraid it's ok to just feel it it will pass.

Then sit and find your joy again it's ok to feel happy.

What ever helps at this time is what we have to do now.

I.